Pornography and the ‘Wholeness’ of Holiness
by Guest
by Dr. Bill Ury
To overcome the dire consequences of porn, we need radical honesty, accountability, and the purifying grace of Jesus.
We all know that pornography is sinful and destructive. Only the willfully blind would argue otherwise. Any research into the devastation porn produces reveals the tentacles of sin—grasping one of God’s gifts out of His time and place for that gift to be used (Genesis 3:6). Sex, with all its beauty and self-giving purpose, is also at the very center of our greatest weakness. Temptation calls us to play with something that produces death when removed from God’s perfect purposes. There are no strong people when it comes to sex—only wise and unwise.
Thinking that you can view porn without consequences is like trying to tame a vicious beast. Porn eviscerates people’s lives and social interactions. The havoc that ensues threatens to overwhelm everyone.
I find it interesting that the root words for holiness connect to our terms for health and wholeness. Holy comes from the Old English halig, “wholeness,” which is related to hal, meaning both physical health and happiness. Holiness is God’s desire to share His very nature with us. The Holy One desires to be in us and welcomes us to abide in Him. In 1 Thessalonians 5:23, the entirety of the human person, “your whole spirit, soul and body” is to “be kept blameless.” Jesus became a human being just like each of us to offer us healthfulness in every area of life. He offers wholeness and holiness.
Pornography causes brokenness, but the rich intimacy Jesus provides promises to touch and heal every aspect of our lives, including our sexual lives.
A devastating problem
The statistics are undeniable. Porn use damages men and women, adults and children, secular folks and church people, pastors and laypersons. No one is immune. Viewing porn has horrific effects on our spirits, emotions, brains, and relationships. And if a person can look beyond their own damage and shame to see the cancer the porn world unleashes on those caught in its web, it would bring a pause before that next click. Pornography falsely promises momentary victory, but it produces only victims.
I am in daily contact with a Christian brother, whom I love with all my heart, who is a sex addict. I have never known a more honest Christian man. He asked me to keep him accountable by reviewing through a Christian pornography filter everything he has viewed online every day. He has challenged me to be vigilant and is refreshingly blunt in his assessment of how porn can get its claws into anyone.
Letting go
I was surprised to learn from my friend that anger and resentment are common factors in turning to porn. Jay Stringer writes about this in Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. Inner rage often fuels a desire to escape. When a person does not receive acknowledgement of harm or offer forgiveness for painful experiences, they may open the door to the most immediate, anonymous form of self-soothing available: porn.
Notice that it is exactly when we turn inward (You hurt me and I will not forgive, or I can handle this, so I don’t need your help) that our demise begins. Christians have not handled sexual sins well. We tend to treat such transgressions as the worst kind, but we don’t really deal with their origins, or the elements of healing required in both body and spirit. Until the Church offers radical commitment to the wholeness of every person, we will never be free of our addiction to porn. The Holy One, the One who made us, knows best how we can handle our sexuality.
Watching my brother be delivered from the grip of pornography, I have seen that radical—if needed, hourly—accountability is the only way to sustained victory. Without Jesus, we are all addicted to something. Only a Savior can set us free (Galatians 5:1). But He has created us as social creatures, and porn addicts need constant, loving, honest communication to recover.
God’s solution
I’ve read so many books on sexuality that reiterate the call to be holy—but then do not ever show a person how that can happen in daily experience. I believe the major way by which a person can be free from pornographic temptation is entire sanctification.
For the Christian, the moment a person ceases to attempt to save, or fix, themselves and puts their full trust in Jesus, He begins the process of full restoration in their lives. Entire sanctification comes to the believer by grace. If I find myself unable to be free of lust, or porn, or any other sexual sin, I must be willing to “die” once again.
Holy love frees us from all forms of sinful self-will. But victory can never be divorced from the reality of patterns that have caused incredible damage to us and the people we love. We can be free, but we must never be stupid or arrogant. All of us need to be surrounded by the bold, unrelenting encouragement of the Body of Christ. Healthy relationships are the means to sustaining holy living. Together, we need to push through shame, embarrassment, dishonesty, and excuse-making. No one is meant to be holy alone, just as none of us is ever healthy alone.
I know a group of godly men who’ve met for 20 years, and the first question as they began a new season of fellowship had to do with adultery and pornography. If we really want to be healthy and holy, what should the first question be in our small group meetings?
We must be honest with one another. Holiness is both personal and social. The Holy Spirit can sanctify my sexual passions, but only as I remain open to looking into the eyes of another person who truly loves me enough to ask whether resentment or lust are resident in my heart and in my search history.
Too often Christians lose sight of what Jesus came to offer us—a comprehensive salvation—that is the answer to the most devastating area of sin in the world. Salvationists often quote Founder William Booth’s words about fighting for the weakest, fighting “to the very end!” Do we really know what it would take to fight against the porn industry’s ravenous claws? The enemy knows if he can keep us weakened by chains of sinful sexual self-fulfillment, we will never be able to truly offer redemption. You can’t give what you don’t have.
Holiness means the death to my way of fulfilling my life. Even if we know this, areas like our sexuality can be so powerful that we lose hope. Death to our ways of attempting to fulfill ourselves is the avenue through which grace flows. Paul, speaking to a church that knew the delivering power of Jesus, commands, “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5). The same must occur if a person truly wants to be free of pornography.
Jesus took on flesh to show us that He would never “grasp” for Himself. A truly holy, healthy salvation is the loving acceptance of the provision through the heart of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit to pervade all that I know and don’t know of my inner life. He wants to forgive us and to create in us a pure heart that does not seek its own fulfillment. As anyone who is winning the battle against sins like pornography will tell you, we must totally submit the fulfillment of our needs to our Maker. He knows what we need, and He can supply us completely. His means of sustaining purity of heart, mind, and body is always by His grace and through His Church.
Dr. Bill Ury has a Ph.D. in theological and religious studies and is National Ambassador of Holiness for The Salvation Army in the United States.
About the Author: Guest
